I have no idea where my life is headed. I want so much from this summer, but something is holding me back. I want to be every where and do everything, but I find reasons not to go where I want to or complain that I don’t have enough time. And I know this is just one summer, but why can’t I have one summer of perfect. I really don’t want to work, but if I want to pay for the school I want to continue to go to, then I must. I have to make tough calls because of that. I can’t ruin my relationship with any of my family because they don’t get to see me that often, but that stress is keeping me from being me. I don’t get to see all my best friends too often. That hurts the worst. And what bothers me is that all my new friends from college are hard to get in contact with and it is impossible to figure out what they are thinking about/ how they feel about our relationship. I wish I could be every where at once, and this summer is only reinforcing that idea.